‘n Laaste grappie voor ek gaan.

A man applies for a job at the Post Office.

The interviewer asks him, ‘Are you allergic to anything?’

He says ‘Yes – just caffeine’

‘Have you ever been in the service?’

‘Yes,’ he says. ‘I was in Iraq for two years.’

The interviewer says, ‘That will give you five extra points toward employment,’ and then asks, ‘Are you disabled in any way?

The guy says, ‘Yes 100%..an IED exploded near me and blew my testicles off.’

The interviewer tells the guy, ‘O.K. In that case, I can hire you right now. Normal hours are from 8 AM to 4 PM. You can start tomorrow at 10:00 – and plan on starting at 10 AM every day.’

The guy is puzzled and says, ‘If the hours are from 8 AM to 4 PM, why don’t you want me to be here before 10 AM?

‘This is a government job,’ the interviewer says. ‘For the first two hours we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point in you coming in for that…

Swiss diver has broken the world record for holding his breath underwater – for 19 minutes and 21 seconds.Freediver Peter Colat, 38, said the first 12 minutes without air were ‘no problem’ after plunging into a water tank at a holiday fair in St Gallen, Switzerland.Mr Colat smashed the previous record held by Italian Nicola Putignano by 19 seconds.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1251251/Freediver-breaks-record-holding-breath-underwater–19-minutes-21-seconds.html#ixzz0fuQVNHzy

David Sheath said: “I broke up with my girlfriend and thought this would be a great way to get through it. Sheath is making a Guinness World Record attempt by hand-painting his entire car (Fiat 500) in pink nail polish.

David Sheath, a former semi-professional footballer, used 131 bottles of pink nail polish to turn a brand new Fiat 500 into a glossy vision of fuchsia.

The 28-year-old lived and slept in a special studio where he completed the mammoth task, which began last Thursday and lasted four days, two hours and two minutes. The gruelling challenge was broadcast over the internet via webcam.

Mr Sheath is now waiting to hear back from judges at the Guinness Book of World Records to confirm his non-stop viral as the longest online advert ever.

U.S. customs officers stopped a woman on her way into the country because she was wearing a jewel-encrusted beetle as a brooch – and it was alive.

The woman was entering America from Mexico when she was stopped at a border outpost in Brownsville, Texas.

The live insect – which is studded with gemstones and gold – was fastened to her sweater by a gold chain and safety pin but was able to wander on her jumper.

She declared the live insect to officials and said she had bought it in Mexico as a brooch but it was immediately confiscated by pest control.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1245471/Anything-declare-Maam-Woman-entering-U-S-LIVE-gem-encrusted-beetle-brooch.html

 ’n Vrou wat haar en haar minnaar se verhouding wou bekend maak, het meer as R1.5miljoen betaal om groot advertensie borde op te sit en te ‘adverteer’. Die arme swaap is een of ander raadgewer vir Pres.Obama.

The spurned mistress of one of Barack Obama’s top economic advisers has exacted revenge by plastering details of their affair on giant billboard posters across the U.S.

YaVaughnie Wilkins is said to have paid £150,000 to reveal her relationship with Charles Phillips to the world after he went back to his wife.

The posters, which are three storeys high, show Miss Williams and the senior member of the president’s hand-picked Economic Recovery Advisory Board below his initials and a quote saying: ‘You are my soulmate forever.’

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1245296/Spurned-mistress-YaVaughnie-Wilkins-takes-revenge-Charles-E-Phillips-plastering-U-S-cities-compromising-posters.html#ixzz0dVhlsV7O

An obese mother killed her much smaller boyfriend after she sat on him during an argument.

Mia Landingham, who weighs more than 21 stone, squashed Mikal Middlestone-Bey to death after they had a fight last August.

During her trial, Landingham apologised for killing eight-stone Mikal – the father of her three children.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1245311/21-stone-woman-kills-father-children-sitting-row.html#ixzz0dVijv2mn

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1245619/Brad-Pitt-Angelina-Jolie-sign-205m-split-deal-share-joint-custody-children.html

Ek dink nie dis waar nie, maar ek is geen wetenskaplike nie, so ek kan seker nie stry nie

Researchers at the German Cancer Research Centre in Heidelberg have discovered that beer contains a powerful molecule that helps protect against breast and prostate cancers.

Found in hops, the substance called xanthohumol blocks the excessive action of testosterone and oestrogen. It also helps to prevent the release of a protein called PSA which encourages the spread of prostate cancer.

Scientists have long known that substances in hops help to block oestrogen. This is the first time, however, that they have been found to also inhibit testosterone.

‘Research is still early but in trials we hope to further demonstrate that xanthohumol actively prevents prostate cancer development,’ says Clarissa Gerhauser of the Heidelberg centre. If successful, xanthohumol may one day be developed as a cancer-fighting drug.

Lees meer:  http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1243754/Why-beer-latest-hope-fight-cancer.html#ixzz0ctVAdYRu

A circus performer stood locked in a trance for hours after he accidentally hypnotised himself while practising his routine in a mirror.

Sword swallower Hannibal Helmurto, 38, whose real name is Helmut Kichmeier, stood transfixed in front of the mirror for five hours until his wife Joanna found him.

Unable to rouse him, she was forced to phone her husband’s mentor, hypnotherapist Dr Ray Roberts, who trained him on an intensive course recently.

Is dit nou nie weirdo van die week nie?

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1240983/Sword-swallower-trapped-trance-hours-accidentally-hypnotising-HIMSELF-mirror.html#ixzz0bv1iihWC

Hier gaan ons:

* Ek kan nie kos eet of koffie drink wat die kinders maak nie, ek kry die aardigste gedagtes in my kop…

*Ek was nog nooit land uit nie.

*Ek het ‘n woordeboek langs my PC, om seker te maak as ek in Ingels mail, dat dit foutloos is.

*Tot onlangs nog het ek nie veel boek gehou oor wat in die boerdery aangaan nie. Ek’s vriendelik forseer(teen vergoeding ), nou hou ek mooi boek van die kunsmis, gif, gepakte en geplukte kratte, werker-register, en en en…

*Ek en die baas is ‘n skool-kys (ja oukei party van julle weet dit!)

* Ek kom nie met my skoonfamilie oor die weg nie.

* Eks BAIE hardegat, en sal my eie arm afsny, net om op my punt te staan. En dit is een van my grootste down-falls…

*Ek dra ‘n 4 skoen. Ooo en ek lewe in my Crocs.

*Ek swem BAIE sleg. Dalk so 2 meter op ‘n slag.

* Ons skinny-dip gereeld as die kids slaap…met ‘n bottel wyn!

*Ek hou nie van Kersfees en verjaarsdae (myne) nie.

*Ek is 1.61m lank, ek het gedink dis 1.54m- weet nie hoekom nie…

*Die een moet seker juicy wees….Ek het so 8 jaar terug ‘n girl deur die gesig geklap by ‘n petrolstasie omdat sy cheaky met my was, nadat sy voor my ingery het. Ek was moewies upset omdat 2 van my kinders saam met my in die kar was. Sy was spraakloos…nes ek!

* Mannetjie hiers joune: Ek is nie jou bleddie tannie! Eks so oud(jonk) soos Girlie!

Ek moet sê ek voel effe beter!