Boervrou

Die 13 dinge-ding en 14 is spesiaal vir mannetjie!

boervrou — Sun, 20 Dec 2009 11:55:01 +0000

Ek gaan nou eerlik sê, ek voel nie lus vir die ding nie. Ek is besig om griep-piep te kry,en my hele lyf is seer…

Hier gaan ons:

* Ek kan nie kos eet of koffie drink wat die kinders maak nie, ek kry die aardigste gedagtes in my kop…

*Ek was nog nooit land uit nie.

*Ek het ‘n woordeboek langs my PC, om seker te maak as ek in Ingels mail, dat dit foutloos is.

*Tot onlangs nog het ek nie veel boek gehou oor wat in die boerdery aangaan nie. Ek’s vriendelik forseer(teen vergoeding ), nou hou ek mooi boek van die kunsmis, gif, gepakte en geplukte kratte, werker-register, en en en…

*Ek en die baas is ‘n skool-kys (ja oukei party van julle weet dit!)

* Ek kom nie met my skoonfamilie oor die weg nie.

* Eks BAIE hardegat, en sal my eie arm afsny, net om op my punt te staan. En dit is een van my grootste down-falls…

*Ek dra ‘n 4 skoen. Ooo en ek lewe in my Crocs.

*Ek swem BAIE sleg. Dalk so 2 meter op ‘n slag.

* Ons skinny-dip gereeld as die kids slaap…met ‘n bottel wyn!

*Ek hou nie van Kersfees en verjaarsdae (myne) nie.

*Ek is 1.61m lank, ek het gedink dis 1.54m- weet nie hoekom nie…

*Die een moet seker juicy wees….Ek het so 8 jaar terug ‘n girl deur die gesig geklap by ‘n petrolstasie omdat sy cheaky met my was, nadat sy voor my ingery het. Ek was moewies upset omdat 2 van my kinders saam met my in die kar was. Sy was spraakloos…nes ek!

* Mannetjie hiers joune: Ek is nie jou bleddie tannie! Eks so oud(jonk) soos Girlie!

Ek moet sê ek voel effe beter!

Siek storie, nie vir sensitiewe lesers nie

boervrou — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 19:54:52 +0000

Ons almal weet dat jy jou kinders moet weg hou van ooms. Ooms is gewoonlik die mense wat die vreeslike goed kan doen aan dogtertjies (of seuntjies). Maar die laaste 10 jaar het vrouens ons gewys dat jy versigtig moet wees vir enige een…

Weereens, pasop aan wie jy jou kinders toe-vertrou! Die vrou was ‘n geleerde van Cambridge universiteit:http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1235941/Former-tutor-gets-prison-term-abusing-young-girls-toilets.html

Moeder van 13(KINDERS, nie honde nie) soek nog een vir Kersfees…????

boervrou — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 19:43:41 +0000

Kyk ek ♥ my bloedjies, vreeslik. Maar die vrou is seker op Prozac of iets sterker. Sy het 13 kinders en soek nog ene vir Kersfees. Ons praat nie hier van ‘n hond nie, dis ‘n kind! En wat sê sy: ‘Having babies is my job‘….uhhhm, is dit nou net ek wat dink die girl is nie lekker nie? Kinders grootmaak is nie maklik nie en beslis nie vir sissies nie! Hier is haar storie: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1235973/Mother-13-All-I-want-Christmas-IVF.html

Hoe om ‘n kopseer te vermy die Kersfees, en ek bedoel nie ten opsigte van geskenke nie!

boervrou — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 19:33:13 +0000

Baie mense sien Kersfees as ‘n geleentheid om te kyk hoeveel hulle kan suip. Hier is tips as jy een van hulle is! Blykbaar is Vodka die drank wat die ‘beste’ vir jou is (dit klink weird). Vodka laat die ’after-shock’ meter op 4/10 . Ons bekende vriend Brandewyn is die ergste wat die pyn en lyding na die tyd op 9/10 los…So as brandewyn op jou pad kom, gee eerder vir hom die trekpas!

Kersfees kom nader, vir jou eie gemoedsrus lees die artikel sorgvuldig…ek gaan nou drink en het nie tyd om alles neer te skryf nie….

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1235848/How-avoid-hangover-Christmas-You-dont-need-drink-just-pick-right-tipple.html

Feite 2

boervrou — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 11:56:44 +0000

Until 1965, driving was done on the left-hand side on roads in Sweden. The conversion to right-hand was done on a weekday at 5pm. All traffic stopped as people switched sides. This time and day were chosen to prevent accidents where drivers would have gotten up in the morning and been too sleepy to realize that this was the day of the changeover.

When opossums are playing ‘possum, they are not “playing.” They actually pass out from sheer terror.

When snakes are born with two heads, they fight each other for food.

When the University of Nebraska Cornhuskers play football at home, the stadium becomes the state’s third largest city.

Who’s that playing the piano on the “Mad About You” theme? Paul Reiser himself.

Wilma Flintstone’s maiden name was Wilma Slaghoopal, and Betty Rubble’s Maiden name was Betty Jean Mcbricker.

Windmills always turn counter-clockwise. Except for the windmills in Ireland.

Winston Churchill was born in a ladies’ room during a dance.

Women’s hearts beat faster than men’s.

You blink over 20,000,000 times a year.

You can only smell 1/20th as well as a dog.

You’ll eat about 35,000 cookies in a lifetime.

You’re born with 300 bones, but when you get to be an adult, you only have 206.

You’re more likely to get stung by a bee on a windy day than in any other weather.

Your heart beats over 100,000 times a day.

Your ribs move about 5 million times a year, everytime you breathe.

Your right lung takes in more air than your left one does.

Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks otherwise it will digest itself.

Some toothpastes and deodorants contain the same chemicals found in antifreeze.

The Shroud of Turin is the single most studied artifact in human history

Smartest dogs: 1) Scottish border collie; 2) Poodle; 3) Golden retriever

The sperm count of an average American male compared to thirty years ago is down thirty percent

Humpback whales are capable of living up to 95 years

The 1912, a wrestling match in Stockholm between Finn Alfred Asikainen and Russian Martin Klein lasted more than 11 hours. Klein eventually won, but was to tired to participate in the championship match

Manitoulin Island is the largest island in a fresh water lake. It is located in Canadian Lake Superior

Cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: R47 800.

The Chinese politician Mao Zedong refused to ever brush his teeth and instead just washed his mouth with tea

The Super Bowl is broadcast to over 182 countries in the world

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour (Vir die mensies wat hulle werk haat!)

In 1884, Dr. Hervey D. Thatcher invented the milk bottle.

Some Ribbon worm will eat themselves if they cannot find food. This type of worm can still survive after eating up to 95% of its body weight

The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is “uncopyrightable.”

Singer Chaka Khan came out with a line of chocolates called “Chakalates.”

In a day 34,000 children die every day from causes that are related to poverty and hunger

Flop-vrye, vinnige kers-koek!

boervrou — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 20:00:09 +0000

Hi Almal

Try this new recipe of mine its quick and easy

Tequila Christmas Cake

Ingredients:

1 cup of water 1 tsp baking soda 1 cup of sugar 1 tsp salt 1 cup of brown sugar Lemon juice 4 large eggs Nuts 1 bottle tequila 2 cups of dried fruit

Sample the tequila to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the tequila again. To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it’s best to make sure the tequila is still OK. Try another cup… just in case. Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Pick the fruit up off floor. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the lequita to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Check the tequila. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don’t forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window. Finish the tequila and wipe counter with the cat.

CHERRY MISTMAS!

Lekker interessante feite!

boervrou — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 15:21:34 +0000

* If you are right handed, you will tend to chew your food on your right side. If you are left handed, you will tend to chew your food on your left side.

* If you stop getting thirsty, you need to drink more water. For when a human body is dehydrated, its thirst mechanism shuts off.

* Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.

* Your tongue is germ free only if it is pink. If it is white there is a thin film of bacteria on it.

* The Mercedes-Benz motto is “Das Beste oder Nichts” meaning “the best or nothing”.

* The Titanic was the first ship to use the SOS signal.

* The pupil of the eye expands as much as 45 percent when a person looks at something pleasing.

* The average person who stop smoking requires one hour less sleep a night.

* Laughing lowers levels of stress hormones and strengthens the immune system. Six-year-olds laugh an average of 300 times a day. Adults only laugh 15 to 100 times a day.

* The roar that we hear when we place a seashell next to our ear is not the ocean, but rather the sound of blood surging through the veins in the ear.

* Bats always turn left when exiting a cave.

* The ‘v’ in the name of a court case does not stand for ‘versus’, but for ‘and’ (in civil proceedings) or ‘against’ (in criminal proceedings).

* Men’s shirts have the buttons on the right, but women’s shirts have the buttons on the left.

* The owl is the only bird to drop its upper eyelid to wink. All other birds raise their lower eyelids.

* The reason honey is so easy to digest is that it’s already been digested by a bee.

* Roosters cannot crow if they cannot extend their necks.

* The color blue has a calming effect. It causes the brain to release calming hormones.

* Every time you sneeze some of your brain cells die.

* Your left lung is smaller than your right lung to make room for your heart.

* When you blush, the lining of your stomach also turns red.

* When hippos are upset, their sweat turns red.

* The first Harley Davidson motorcycle was built in 1903, and used a tomato can for a carburetor.

* Google is actually the common name for a number with a million zeros.

* It cost R 51 000 000 to build the Titanic and R 1464 000 000 to make a film about it.

* The attachment of the human skin to muscles is what causes dimples.

* There are 1,792 steps to the top of the Eiffel Tower.

* The sound you hear when you crack your knuckles is actually the sound of nitrogen gas bubbles bursting.

* It takes about 20 seconds for a red blood cell to circle the whole body.

* Most soccer players run 11km in a game.

* The only part of the body that has no blood supply is the cornea in the eye. It takes in oxygen directly from the air.

* Every day 200 million couples make love, 400,000 babies are born, and 140,000 people die.

* In most watch advertisements the time displayed on the watch is 10:10 because then the arms frame the brand of the watch (and make it look like it
is smiling).

* Colgate faced big obstacle marketing toothpaste in Spanish speaking countries. Colgate translates into the command “go hang yourself.”

* The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without turning its head are the rabbit and the parrot.

* Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

* The average person laughs 13 times a day.

* Do you know the names of the three wise monkeys? They are:Mizaru(See no evil), Mikazaru(Hear no evil), and Mazaru(Speak no evil)

* Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

* German Shepherds bite humans more than any other breed of dog.

* Large kangaroos cover more than 9 meters with each jump.

* Whip makes a cracking sound because its tip moves faster than the speed of sound.

* Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn. Suddenly the pigs, all 2000 of them, escaped through a broken fence and stampeded, trampling the two hapless protesters to death.

* If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural cause.

* The human heart creates enough pressure while pumping to squirt blood 9 meter!!

* California has issued at least 6 drivers licenses to people named Jesus Christ.

* Kangaroos can not walk backwards.

* According to a recent survey, more than half of British adults have had sex in a public place!

* Most alcoholic beverages contain all 13 minerals necessary to sustain human life.

* Nachos is the food most craved by pregnant women.

* Each year, 24,000 Americans are bitten by rats!

* Most dreams last only 5 to 20 minutes.

* The hair of an adult man or woman can stretch 25 percent of its length without breaking.

* On average, the life span of an American dollar bill is 18 months.

* Non-dairy creamer is flammable.

* The first domain name ever registered was Symbolics.com.

* Americans collectively eat 50kg of chocolate every second.

* U.S. President Calvin Coolidge liked to eat breakfast while having his head rubbed with Vaseline.

* When a giraffe’s baby is born it falls from a height of 1.8 m, normally without being hurt.

* Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.

* The creator of the NIKE Swoosh symbol was paid only R256 for the design.

* How does a shark find fish? It can hear their hearts beating.

* Penguins can convert salt water into fresh water.

* In ten minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all the world’s nuclear weapons combined!

* During WWII, because a lot of players were called to duty, the Pittsburgh Steelers and Philadelphia Eagles combined to become The Steagles.

* Nearly 22,000 checks will be deducted from the wrong account over the next hour.

* More than 50% of the people in the world have never made or received a telephone call.

* There are more fatal car accidents in July than any other month.

* There are more bacteria in your mouth than there are people in the world.

* Bats always turn left when exiting a cave.

* Washington, D.C. has one lawyer for every 19 residents!

* Avocados have more protein than any other fruit.

* The average car produces 0.5kg of pollution every 40km!

* Cranberries are sorted for ripeness by bouncing them; a fully ripened cranberry can be dribbled like a basketball.

* In 1980, a Las Vegas hospital suspended workers for betting on when patients would die!

* The most powerful electric eel is found in the rivers of Brazil, Columbia, Venezuela, and Peru, and produces a shock of 400-650 volts.

* If the population of China walked past you in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.

* Antarctica is the only land on our planet that is not owned by any country.

* In India, people are legally allowed to marry a dog!

* You are more likely to get attacked by a cow than a shark.

* Half of all identity thieves are either relatives, friends, or neighbors of their victims.

* One in three male motorists picks their nose while driving.

‘Hypo-allergenic’ troeteldiere, dalk vir Kersfees?

boervrou — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 14:51:21 +0000

Hulle is al vanaf 2006 beskikbaar, maar ek het dit nou eers raakgelees. As jy allergies is vir katte of honde, kan jy gerus vir jou ‘n troeteldier hier aanskaf @ tussen R51 000 en R162 000!!!!! Liewe dinges, jy kan ‘n redelike oraait trekker aanskaf vir daai prys. As die ou gedierte’tjie die emmer skop, skop jy die emmer!

http://www.lifestylepets.com/

“Sparebots” hoop vir uitstalling

boervrou — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 16:18:15 +0000

Die mannetjies word van leds, draad, resistors, kapasitors en ander elektriese parte gemaak. Die eerste foto is vir my oulik want dit is asof jy amper emosie op die ou gesiglose-goedjies kan sien. Hy lyk regtig hartseer. Die tweede foto is oulik want ek kan daarmee assosieer. Het jy al eerste paar skool-skoene of spesifieke tekkies vir een van jou kinders probeer kry? Dit kan nogal ‘n belewenis wees.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/picture-galleries/6700584/Sparebots-little-figures-made-from-LEDs-resistors-capacitors-wire-and-other-electronic-spare-parts.html?image=12

EK weet die storie is extreme…maar ek moes dit deel.

boervrou — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 12:08:15 +0000

As jy nie tot in jou tone geskok wil wees nie, moet eerder nie verder lees nie!

‘n Mens is geneig om te vergeet dat verkragting ook met seuntjies kan gebeur (soos Klay). ‘n Agtjarige seuntjie (dink nou mooi hoe klein is so mannetjie nog), is deur ‘n 17jarige skurk in ‘n trok gelok, geslaan en verkrag. Asof dit nie genoeg was nie, “After he left the raped and beaten child, an accidental witness got on the truck and raped the kid threatening to tell everyone all these “shameful facts”. Weeer!!!!

Wat maak so pa? Die seuntjie se pa en 2 familielede het die 17jarige skurk gaan soek. En gekry. Die pa het die tiener verkrag en afgeneem met sy selfoon. Hyt dit rondgestuur wat eintlik ‘n fout is want porn-sites verkoop dit nou.

Die ouens is nou in soveel stront, maar wat maak jy as so iets met jou kind gebeur? Die polisie is useless! http://www.aysor.am/en/news/2009/11/12/baku-viol/