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Posts Tagged ‘grappies’

Dis Vrydag! SNLV18

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1 . Dronk boemelaar kom in ‘n parkie af op ‘n ou in ‘n sweetpak wat
push-ups doen. “Eksjkuus meneer, die een wat jy probeer sjpyker isj weg”!

2. Wat is die ooreenkoms tussen gebrande toast en ‘n pregnant vrou?
Met al twee wens jy – jy het vroeër uitgehaal!

3. Wat is die definisie van ‘n “G string” vol blommetjies:
‘n gelukkige padda in Namakwaland!

4. ‘n Man is soos ‘n selfoon, het jy hom, is hy lastig. Soek jy hom,
Lê hy iewers. Het jy hom nodig, is hy altyd pap.

5. Gatiep, koop vir hom ‘n nuwe BMW. Elke 20km stop hy en kyk onder
sy kar.
Meraai vra: “wat maak tjy?”
Gatiep sê: ‘n Ding wat so lekker ry, moet ‘n parra erens hê!

6. Mans is half gemaak. Hulle het tieties sonir melk, voels sonir
vere, eiers sonir doppe, sakke sonir geld en klokke sonir klank….Shame

7. ‘n Vrou is soos ‘n screensaver…… Die prentjie verander
onmiddellik as jy aan die muis vat!

8. Parkinson is beter as Alzheimer’s. Ek bewe hom liewer in, as om te
vergeet hoekom hy styf is!

9. 3 Boetie boesmans loop in woestyn! Leeu kom agter bos uit!
Oudste sê ‘klie klom klak’
Middelste sê ‘klie klom gloot klak’
Kleinste sê ‘ klaar geklak’

10. Sannie en Jannie bad saam.
Sannie: Jannie hoekom is joune so lank?
Jannie: Want liewe Jesus het myne uitgetrek en joune ingedruk!
Sannie: Jis, hy moes dit baie hard getrek het! Tot jou niertjies
hang uit!

En as jy tyd het moet jy eenvoudig dit lees: http://www.girlvandiesuburbs.co.za/2009/08/lag-n-slag/ dis moewies snaaks, wees gewaarsku!

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abaaAs jy ietsie wil byvoeg  is jy meer as welkom!

  

Top Joke in England Two guys are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, “I slept with your mother!” The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do. The first again yells, “I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!” The other says, “Go home dad you’re drunk.”  
Top Joke in Scotland   I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather.  Not screaming in terror like his passengers.  

A woman at a gas station noticed a spaceship landing in front of her. An alien stepped out of the spaceship and started to pump gas into it. The woman noticed the letters ”U.F.O.” printed on the side of the ship. She turned to the alien and asked ”Does U.F.O. stand for Unidentified Flying Object?” The alien answered, ”No, it stands for Unleaded Fuel Only!”

A young teenaged girl was a prostitute and, for obvious reasons, kept it a secret from her grandma. One day, the police raided a brothel and arrested a group of prostitutes, including the young girl. The prostitutes were instructed to line up in a straight line on the sidewalk. Well, who should be walking in the neighborhood, but little old Grandma. The young girl was frantic. Sure enough, Grandma noticed her young granddaughter and asked curiously, “What are you lining up for, dear?” Not willing to let grandma in on her little secret, the young girl told her that some people were passing out free oranges and that she was lining up for some. “Mmm, sounds lovely,” said Grandma. “I think I’ll have some myself,” she continued as she made her way to the back of the line. A police officer made his way down the line, questioning all of the prostitutes. When he got to Grandma, at the end of the line, he was bewildered. “But you’re so old… how do you do it?” Grandma replied, “Oh, it’s quite easy, sonny… I just remove my dentures and suck ‘em dry!”
 

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